school reopening but i feel empty
i lost someone who will always message me before school start
'where am i' 'what time will i reach' 'what class to go' etc
i lost someone who will be smiling at me when i reach the class
i lost someone who is always sitting beside me in class
my heart sink when i realise i never had took a single picture JUST with her
its hard to accept the news when i first heard
i wanted to cry but i couldnt
the feeling was so terrible
i did not cry until i broke the news to others
thats was when i finally could release my emotions
tears flowed uncontrollably when i reminisce of me and her in class
i didnt stay long for the wake, its too painful
my heart is too weak to take....
i wanted to stay strong cause i wanna give my support to my cousin
it was her closest friend.
she lost her and she only had me now

since you say you only left with me
shouldnt you be cherishing me more now?
i know you still cant get over wen's death
but do you know how much my heart ache when i read ur blog?
how much i ache when i get to know that your mum is not understanding ur current situation
and are nagging over stuffs which are so not neccessary
i feel scared too. im afraid to lose someone again.
it was only a month ago after manman's death
please do not let me wait too long for you
i wanted to go over to your house to console you but i dont know what i shld say
i wanted to just be by ur side but im afraid that you might want to be alone
i will take care of myself like you told me to
but please, can you too?
im just a phone call away, my dear cousin
a phone call away....
i need you too....
not the quiet caiwei....
but the always laughing siao cha bo who always call me pu bor...

Jarelyn wrote; it's complicating. 11:56 PM